


Through the Slime and the Mud, I Came Out the Other Side

by LuciferIsMyCoPilot



Category: Jesus Christ Superstar - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Implied Jesus/Mary, Judas/Original Female Character, alternating pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-06 13:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3135734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciferIsMyCoPilot/pseuds/LuciferIsMyCoPilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tensions are running increasingly high in Camp, Judas can see where this will all end but why can't anyone else?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Overture

**Through the Slime and the Mud, I Came Through the Otherside**

Chapter 1 - Overture

I had been on my own for a long time, some might think too long.

I never used to be alone. I had a nice sized family for the best part of my life but one day the Soldiers came into my father's business and told him he had until noon to pack up the shop and hand over the business to a Roman who had bought the land on which his business now stood.

My father had been a Fishmonger and my brother a Fisherman so naturally they ran the business together, they had built it up over a number of years and in a matter of seconds their livelihood had been snatched from beneath their feet.

I had a job on a fruit stall in the market nearby but there was no hope of that ever being enough of an income to support all three of us.

My mother had died many years previously and the only thing that had saved my father from the grief was his business. Once he lost the business it did not take long for him to give up both body and soul.

My brother left two weeks after the business was taken. He told father and I that he was old enough to be taking responsibility for himself and that his absence would make my role as 'breadwinner' easier with less people to provide for. I never saw him again, if he still lives then he lives believing father is alive also.

Then that was me. All alone.

I worked my fingers to the bone day in and day out.

I suppose it would have been easy to harbour resentment for the soldiers. Blame them for my fathers death and I think on some level I did. On the other hand I knew they had only been acting on orders and doing what any army anywhere would have done. They were here to occupy and were tasked with keeping the peace along with doing whatever necessary duties they had to. My father's business was just one of those 'necessary duties'. Maybe I just didn't want to blame them because then to blame someone for his death would be to admit he was dead which, in turn, left me to acknowledge my loneliness in the world.

Oh the times I almost gave up that job and wanted nothing more than to die myself but I never did and for that I will be forever grateful because one day a group of people came through the market chatting in a lively manner. They stopped at my stall.

The two men at the front of the crowd could not have been more different but they seemed like the best of friends.

One had a kind of ginger hair in dreadlocks and brown eyes, he carried a backpack and wore a jacket and scarf, t-shirt and jeans. His smile was genuine and beautiful.

The other had black hair, mussed up but in a way that made it look presentable. His eyes were blue and looked like they carried all the woes of the world hidden behind them. Beyond the large trench coat he wore I couldn't see much. He was clearly the leader in the group and something told me that the way the other man held himself around him meant he was his the right-hand man.

"What can I do for you today sir?" I asked him. I remember the exchange so clearly, it would change my life.

"Your eyes carry a great amount of sadness. Perhaps you would let me help you." He said and tilted his head a little. His eyes glistened with a concern I hadn't seen in such a long time that it would have been easy for me to forget it existed.

"I have known my fair share sir, but so will any of the others you see around you. Nothing can be done to change this." I told him as I had told countless others before him.

"I do beg to differ. My friends and I are on a mission to deliver the word of God. Let me help you and let us give you hope and perhaps in turn you will be able to do the same for another some day." He told me with a polite smile, "Please, do not call me 'sir'. Call me Jesus."

I knew the name of course, he was a preacher. Some were calling him the Messiah.

"Jesus, I accept your kind offer but I can not leave right away as there as some things I must do first. Will you wait by that tree over there for me please? I should not be too long." I said.

* * *

 

As soon as I had agreed I felt instantly happier and more hopeful, a new course for my life to take. I could not have wished for much more. I closed up the stall and asked the man on the stall next to mine to let Ruth know I would not be returning for work the next day. I left for home whereupon I packed a bag of clothes, food and water. Returning to the stall little more than twenty minutes later I looked all around to see that Jesus had indeed kept his word and waited by the tree.

Perhaps you know his story and how it ends but I would not have it any other way for many reasons but the main being that I truly had been saved that day and Jesus had been right, I was given the opportunity to save another.

My goodness! Where are my manners?

My name is Esther and this is the story of how I came to be saved and loved.


	2. Heaven on Their Minds

_Judas’ POV_

Why can’t he see the damage that he is letting them do? Like a fog has been lifted from in front of my eyes I can see what is happening and it cannot end well. They take his message but they use it for their own purposes, purposes that will not serve Jesus well to be associated with!

There he sits, preaching his message, but he does not care that they use it to suit a militant agenda.  Well he knows I am sure that they twist his words so why does he do nothing to stop it?

As for the fools who do not twist his message? They are but sheep, following a dying cause and it scares me.  We are all going to end up in a kind of trouble that no Sermon on love or forgiveness will let us escape the fate those in high places will have planned for us.

The mob will turn against him and he continues to sit pretty and talk incessantly to the very idiots that will be part of his downfall.  He ignores it because he is too busy enjoying the attentions of Mary.

Over in a corner, looking on at all that is going on, sits the only one I have any respect left for anymore. Making my way over my fear and anger subsides.

“Esther.” I greet her and smile, “Why do you not sit closer?”

“Why do you not sit at all?” She cleverly retorts, “I saw you over there pacing. You have been worrying again my friend.  What bothers you on such a fine day?”

Something in my chest tightens and threatens to rip apart, I did not know what then. Such a fool I was being.

“You know how I care for him and you know how I worry for him. It scares me to see him enjoying the fawning masses when they do not take his words into their heart like they should but instead use them to fuel a mass revolution.” I say softly

“Oh my dear, sweet Judas. I think you underestimate him. He knows what he is doing or else he would never have gotten this far, do you not agree?” Esthers says with a calming effect in her voice much like the effect Mary’s oils would have on the strains of the mind.

I sigh deeply and nod, “Perhaps I do. I honestly hope that is what I am doing. You are wiser than you need be at your young age.”

“While I accept the compliment I hasten to remind you that I am the same age as yourself. At 35 we are older than Jesus. Only by two years, but older nonetheless.”

I can not say what I would have done in times like these if Esther had not been with us.

* * *

 

_Esther’s POV_

  
It was strange, three years later sitting listening to Jesus towards the back of a mass gathering.  Judas was away in the corner, he had been withdrawing himself a lot lately and I worried for him.  Many of the twelve were already not exactly his closest friends but now they were beginning to shun him much like they might have done a Leper.  I still maintain the belief that had it not been due to Jesus they would have had no problem with ostracising him completely.

You see I was his closest friend at the point, or at least I like to think I was.  I hope I was because he really only had Jesus and I.

He and I would often sit up late, long after everyone else had gone to sleep.  We would sit up in either his or my tent and talk about the day we had just put behind us, a sermon Jesus had given or something else and everything in between.

I knew how much he cared for Jesus and he would often tell me of how much he worried that Jesus was perhaps losing sight of what was important.  I never liked to openly agree as I prefered to remain as open-minded as possible.  However I was well aware of how the growing attention we were receiving was both a positive outcome and a negative one.  On one hand it meant that the message was growing which could only mean that change would shortly be at hand.  On the other hand the more wreckless of the fanatics and even some of the twelve were endangering the safety of us all.  It was a catch 22; do we keep the faith and continue the work we do or do we run and let change slip away.  No.  We all took this on knowing the chances of martyrdom.  I can say now that some regarded it not as a chance, but as an inevitability.

Well.  Not some.  Only one…

Like I said, you may well know the story.

What you ought to ask yourself is ‘Do I know the whole story?’

Concerning Jesus? Perhaps so but I lay down my life on the bet you do not know all there is to know concerning Judas.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait, real life has a way of making me forget to update... Two updates as recompense?


	3. What's The Buzz?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update and I promise to put chapter four up by Tuesday!

_Esther’s POV_

I sat there beside Judas and I truly wanted to believe that he agreed but it was the look in his eyes that gave him away.  We were so different in our approach to the world. One thing was certain though, more and more I was beginning to see his point more clearly and bit by bit my eyes opened to the people around us.  

They go on and on about wanting to know the next move and when we will be going into Jerusalem but each time they mention it a darkness overcomes Jesus’ eyes. No one notices and if they do then they say nothing.  I turn back to Judas and look up at him. He is concentrating on something else, he is a thousand miles away. Leaning in I wrap my arms around him and smile as he comes back to the here and now.

“What brings this on?” He asks me.

“You looked sad. Even a thousand miles away in the comfort of your own thoughts you cannot hide the sadness radiating from your eyes.” I reply

“Trust me when I say that there are no comforts to be taken in my thoughts.” He says and somewhat stiffly wraps his arms around me too. “So long as you are around though, I have some comfort in this world.”

“Don’t go getting all morbid on me now Judas Iscariot!” I chuckle and disentangle myself, subconsciously aware that we are being observed by other members of the Twelve.

“Do you remove yourself because we are being watched?” Judas whispers

“I-- I remove myself because my intention was to bring you out of your thoughts and see that you were alright.” My reply came shakily

“Then you are satisfied with the result I assume?”

I could really only nod because the words I wanted to say were sticking in my throat.

It didn’t matter though because suddenly Judas’ attention was caught by something else.

All of a sudden I wasn’t even there, he rose up and walked away.

* * *

 

_Judas’ POV_

It would seem my feelings on the whole situation are mine and mine alone. Sitting by Esther only subdued my anger for a small period of time. I sat watching them all, they danced around him and praised him and begged him to tell them what he planned.  Blind sheep. That is what they put me in mind of, blind sheep following a Shepherd that was slowly becoming incapable of keeping his herd from strolling off the path and wandering into trouble.

Jesus, to his credit, seemed to be trying to make them understand that the plans were not for them to know. Of course all his attempts failed and they continued to hound him. Long ago I had given up stressing over how they pressed him. My attempts to have them back off were clearly not wanted or needed for all I seemed to get was a glare from the Twelve or a quiet admonishment from Jesus, oftentimes saying such things as ‘Do not be so worried my friend. They are merely excited, you must let them be as they let you be.’

No. What was currently on my mind was his determination to interact so intimately with Mary. This was sure to get noticed. Noticed and twisted. Why could he not just be careful?

My train of thought was derailed however when I felt arms snake around my waist. I held back the slight shiver of happiness I wanted to express when, coming back to the present moment, I saw who it was that now had their arms wrapped around me. Perhaps my smile said it all, or it would have done if I hadn’t felt eyes on us from various points in the camp which held it back. Of course, the looks we got were few and far between. Most were still concentrating on Jesus.

While I did suppress the shiver and the smile I could not stop the actions that came as second nature. Even if I was nervous of the eyes around us. I returned the embrace a little less comfortably than I would have liked to.

Concern was laced in Esther’s eyes. She knew. Knew that I was thinking about it all again. Considering possible ends to the scenario and weighing up options on what best to do.

All my options were terrifying and yet she tried to comfort me, telling me my thoughts would comfort me.  Thoughts such as these would comfort no one.

Just as I was beginning to grow accustomed to her warmth and I was about to sink more comfortably into the embrace, onlookers be damned, Esther pulled away.  She too had spotted the eyes watching us, her resolve had not held like mine was willing to.

I ask her if she parts due to prying eyes and she tells me something completely different. My skill when it comes to women was far from competent so I missed the shakiness that would have indicated a lie badly told.

All I knew was that she clearly believed her actions to have had the desired effect.  In response my mind shut out all other thoughts on the matter and that was when I spotted something that changed my mood. I had been calm and I think perhaps I had even experienced a sort of serenity.

Now though, Mary filled my sight. She was again stepping outside of her place.  She sat and began to wash his feet.

This had to be stopped, it had to be stopped in it’s tracks before it could all spiral out of control.

Forgetting Esther beside me I rose to my feet and stormed across the camp. 


	4. Strange Thing, Mystifying.

_Judas’ POV_

 

“It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying.” I grind out, “That a man like you can waste his time on women of her kind.”

Mary looked hurt but at that moment I couldn’t have cared less.

I grin and turn to face the rest of the camp, “Yes, I can understand that she amuses.” Then I turn back to Jesus and tilt my head. “But to let her stroke you and kiss your hair. That’s hardly in you line. It’s not that I object to her profession, but she doesn’t fit in well with what we teach and say. It doesn’t help us if you’re inconsistent.” I crouched low beside him and continued to explain myself, it was about time this was all heard anyway. I wouldn’t let him risk all our lives like this, not anymore. Just because he’s a big-shot now doesn’t mean he can get careless, it means the very opposite! “They only need a small excuse to put us all away!”

Jesus shot to his feet nearly knocking me over in the process but I stood up and looked him in the eyes, I knew what was coming and I had to stand my ground.

“Who are you to criticise her? Who are you to despise her?” He questioned barely stopping for breath “Leave her! Leave her! She’s with me now.  If your slate is clean then you can throw stones, if your slate is not then leave her alone!” He spat out those last words and the crowd cheered, whether it was for him or me I do not know but it was most likely to be for him.

I felt like throwing my hands up in the air and yelling that I gave up. I almost did, why shouldn’t I? It’s not like I was even trusted to have a say anymore, he was not going to listen to what I had to say because I don’t follow him like a sheep, I don’t hang on his every word. Well then that’s just fine. Damn him!

Whilst I had been silently fuming away the crowd had run to gather around Jesus but he stood above them and held out a hand in a gesture to tell them not to bother. I take a quick glance around and Esther is nowhere in sight but my attention is caught by Jesus again having a go at me. This was different though, he sounded more like he was sad. Every word carried a sort of defeated attitude to it. “I’m amazed that men like you can be so shallow, thick and slow. There is not a man among you who knows or cares if I come or go!”

The crowd around him pleaded with him to see that they were not this way, with cries of ‘No, your wrong!’ and ‘How can you say that?’ I didn’t need this, I had begun to walk away with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth when I heard his last words.

“Not one of you!”

I had only walked for around ten minutes before I sat and finished my cigarette. I flicked the remnant away and sighed, rubbing my eyes all I could think of was how hurt Jesus had sounded when he called me thick, as if he knew something I didn’t but didn’t want to believe it until he was forced to. Clearly I had either forced him to believe it or pushed him that bit closer to believing it. Either way I knew that camp needed to cool off and so did I so I stayed away. I went down by a small River that runs through the town we had set up camp.  It wasn’t really a river, I don’t know what the proper name for the thing would be but it soothed my temper a little. Okay so, ideally I shouldn’t have went off on one like that. I will not apologise though, not for saying what needed to be said!

Thinking by the river I realised how I had been talking to Esther before hand. How she had hugged me and how I had enjoyed that small moment of closeness with her. Of course those realisations were overshadowed by the knowledge that she would never have me. We may be the same age but we did not think much alike. Admittedly she was beginning to see my point of view but still she was too hopeful and believed too much in what she was listening to.  I was too sceptical and outspoken, no, she would never have me. It was thoughts like these that passed the time down by that river.

I returned to camp many long hours after and made sure to sit on the edge of the gathering as I highly doubted anyone would really want to sit with me and talk for some time yet.

* * *

_Mary’s POV_

He came speeding over as I was sat by Jesus and starting telling the crowd and Jesus how he did not understand why I was allowed to be kept around, why I was allowed to be so near Jesus. He spoke of understanding why I amused Jesus and that hurt, I liked to believe I helped Jesus unwind but not in the way that Judas was implying!

Jesus got to his feet to defend me and I think it was not just aimed at Judas nor was it solely about judging me. I think it was more about teaching Judas that no one was perfect so none can expect others to be so if they were not themselves, perfect.

The camp cheered for Jesus and Judas looked like thunder, murder was in his eyes. It was clear he was angry but for a moment I noticed it was aimed not at me, but at Jesus.

While his outburst had hurt me I knew then that Judas was merely trying to show Jesus how others would react to what they saw.

I could not forgive Judas however, I know I should have but I just couldn’t.

Jesus stormed off towards a secluded part of camp but left a parting shot to Judas. Telling him how he could hardly believe such a clever man was so narrow minded and while Judas ignored this and wandered off with a cigarette in his mouth, all the others clamoured around Jesus assuring him that they were not the same.

I was at a loss, I had no idea what to do and all of a sudden Esther’s hand was lay on my shoulder and I smiled up at her. She sat by me and said nothing, she waited for me to speak with just a smile on her face and her hand still upon my shoulder.

* * *

_Esther’s POV_

I had known that moment of serenity wasn’t going to last but I had hoped it might have lasted that bit longer than it did. Nevertheless, I could only look on at the scene transpiring.  As Judas spoke I flinched at his words, if they had been blades then they would have cut deep into Mary’s flesh. Instead they cut deep into her emotionally, she wouldn’t show it because that would be a sign of weakness to her I think but it was still plain to see that she was hurt.  I wanted to shout at him to stop and to consider the woman’s feelings but nothing came from my throat.

Then Jesus began to defend her and I smiled. He loved her, that much was plain to see and she loved him back but only when no one was looking because she knew how it could look. Judas looked mildly annoyed at this show of affection and he walked away with a cigarette in his mouth, he was in a bad mood now.  He would go off to the river, he thought I didn’t know where he went but the thing is, we are not so different because that was where I went to unwind and relax.  Though part of me wanted to run after him and walk with him I knew too well that he would not be in the mood to talk nor have company. So, instead I went to comfort Mary.

I rested my hand on her shoulder and waited for her to speak. I would not force conversation, if all she needed was someone to sit with that was what I would provide. A silent comfort, awaiting a sign from Mary whether or not she wanted me to stay. The small, thankful smile told me to stay.

“His words do not hurt me, I have heard them more often than you would think. They no longer have any affect.” She lied.

“You mustn’t feel the need to hide it from me Mary. I am more than aware of how his words hurt you. I can see it in your eyes, perhaps once upon a time his words would not have hurt but your time with us here have changed you. Now you find these such words as painful as you had in the beginning.” I replied soothingly and took my hand off her shoulder.

“You are right, my friend. How I wish you were not but alas, you are.”

Once more a silence fell between us. Mary sat with me a little while longer then she stood up, gave me a quick embrace and walked away to find Peter.

Much later that day I saw Judas skulk back into camp and seat himself right at the edge.

* * *

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So that is that! We have a prologue! Was it any good?
> 
> So a few things I want to say before I let you go off and do other things.
> 
> 1) So this point is more about what you can expect from this story and where the Plot-Bunny came from; See I've always loved J.C. Superstar and I recently went to see the Arena tour (WITH MY IDOL TIM MINCHIN REPRISING HIS ROLE AS JUDAS!) and in the scene where Judas commits suicide I thought to myself 'How differently would the story have gone if Judas hadn't done that but instead returned to the 12? What would have happened and how would that have affected Judas?'. So I set out to write a story with the intention of exploring that idea and realised that Judas would have to have a reason to live on after he betrayed Jesus so I came up with Esther. She will be his reason to live.
> 
> 2) The idea is that it will be Esther's story of how she saved Judas without really even knowing it. It will take the POV of different people but Esther and/or Judas will be the center of the chapter. The chapters will be named after the titles of the songs in the show and the story will be written in first person and in the past tense, to the best of my ability!
> 
> 3) So I usually don't post things on here, I reserve this account for just reading but I decided to start posting my stories here too. Most of the work I put here will be available on Fanfiction.net too under the same title.
> 
> 4) Lastly, I am not expecting this to get many reads as it's not the largest fandom on the site but if you do happen to read and enjoy it please do leave a review as it does mean quite a lot to me to hear your thoughts.
> 
> \- LuciferIsMyCoPilot


End file.
